‘The road is long’ – one woman’s journey

‘The road is long’ – one woman’s journey

‘The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where?

Who knows where?
But I’m strong,
Strong enough to carry him
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.’

Recorded by The Hollies; music and lyrics: Bobby Scott and Bob Russell.

It’s been a long, long road! And I know who has carried me the whole way: the ‘He’ who ain’t heavy, and who is my brother. I’d have given up a long time ago without Him.

What does a little girl in a small country Queensland town make of this Jesus she met, so long ago she can’t actually remember when? She remembers church and Sunday School and knowing that it was the place for her. She also remembers being mightily impressed by the pastor’s black dress and white collar with those fascinating white tabs that hung from it. She also loved the chanting of the liturgy and practiced it at home, especially the pastor’s part. She loved baptising her dolls.

As she got older, she really loved Confirmation Class on Saturday mornings. Her pastor made it really interesting… there was a lot of ‘meat’ for this 13yr old to mull over in 1966: Church history, the small catechism, the biblical story from Genesis to Revelation, how the ELCA and the UELCA would finally become one! Little did the pastor know (or perhaps he did) how much all of that knowledge meant to that 13yr old. She has stored it away for almost 60 years.

In the intervening decades the LCA has wandered on an interesting journey with regard to the ‘women’s’ issue. I knew that things were happening in the Lutheran Church in other parts of the world and followed these with interest. The debate in the LCA made me wonder if I had been fooled by some other power to think I had a place at the table. This made me dive deeper into scripture and made me wonder what the Jesus I knew from childhood would make of my dilemma. In fact, it wasn’t my dilemma, it was the LCA’s.

I have been pastored by many different pastors of congregations I have belonged to on my journey, all of whom ‘saw’ me and recognised any useful gifts I might have and encouraged their use. They have aided and abetted me as I have sought to fulfil whatever it is that God has desired from me. It is only in recent times that I have realised that a fire was lit inside me in my youth. And it is still burning!

God knew the journey and kept me fulfilled along the way with a career that provided satisfaction for my inner being on many levels. Working with children with learning difficulties and special needs meant that I was an advocate for the marginalised in every school I worked in, both government and independent. No one ever chooses to be marginalised. We are who we are, just as God wants us to be. God is our champion. God’s love is not meted out because of our ‘goodness’. God’s love ‘is’ because God is love.

During the early 1990s my family moved to Adelaide because of my husband’s work. I was a stay-at-home mum at the time. I had real hope that by the turn of the century there would be a place for ordained women in the LCA. I enrolled to start studies towards an ordination pathway, very part-time as I had an enthusiastic toddler. So that my heart would not be completely shattered, God walked with me as we moved back to Queensland and I went back to the Learning Support classroom when my daughter started school. The fire continued to burn, but God knew I needed to be far away from Adelaide.

My years in Adelaide forged a support network of women and men who have continued to be present and not to give in, knocking on the church’s door time and again, even when told they had to desist. It sometimes feels like the resistance movements that develop to counter oppression from powerful, but not always fair, governments in other times and other parts of the world. Perhaps it is following Luther’s example: ‘Here I stand, I can do no other.’

That little girl is now 72 years old. She still has that fire inside her – in fact she has asked God if it could be removed. But more opportunities to use her gifts keep presenting themselves. What should she do?

‘So on we go
His welfare is my concern
No burden is he to bear
We’ll get there.
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.’

(With sincere acknowledgement to Bob Russell and The Hollies for the lyrics. ‘He’ is my brother, Jesus. I’m not sure that was The Hollies’ intent, but it’s how I see it.)