Something New is Being Born

In church we are often reminded that we are children of the light and not of darkness. However, the peace that is supposed to come from truly believing this has often eluded me. My sense of my own darkness and incapacities has more times than not, sent me spiraling down into despair; certainly not peace. My melancholic nature can send a shadow over everything I see. 

What is giving me peace at present, is to realize that Love can be where we least expect, in situations which we would much rather avoid and in those who are very different from ourselves. Conflict and despair may be the very doorway through which we need to walk for new life to emerge. The status quo may need to crumble and we do not find this easy. 

We are often afraid of pain and darkness and want to stand at a distance from it like the Israelites did in Exodus 20, but Moses – the murderer and coward – drew near the thick darkness where Love was (v. 21). The person we least expect enters into what is holier than themselves. Only afterwards, at a distance and as time has gone by are most of us able to see a little of what has been birthed. 

I think of Jesus the ‘Prince of Peace’ heading towards Jerusalem knowing he would surely die. Matthew reports he fell with his face to the ground: “Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will but as you will” (Matt 26:39). This is a little like the Serenity prayer where we pray for acceptance of the things we cannot change. However, we who are recovering addicts of all descriptions would rather say, “I grant myself the ability to do the impossible, the determination to not change the things I can and the refusal to notice the distortion!” 

Our theme for Synod is, ‘One in the Spirit bound in peace’. We are bound together with Christ on the same journey he was on. Catholic priest Henri Nouwen said our death is our greatest gift. Maybe, as we lean into our dying as a church as we have known it, life and the peace that passes understanding is able to emerge. May each of us join in letting light shine out of darkness (Gen 1:2-4) for something new is being born!

Image source: https://wau.org/resources/article/jesus_agony_in_the_garden/
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